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The year is 20XX. You return to your slave cube to find what you assume is a PC running "Plan 9 from Microsoft". You are shocked at it's convenient features:

The world's information is merely one click away.

The world's browsers are simply two clicks away.

Dispensing candy is an easy ctrl-triple-click.

Bootstrapping a compiler is just the konami code backwards.

Printing the screen is really simple as hitting PrintSrc and loading your printer with $300 cyan ink cartridges.

However turning the computer off is a week-long process that involves arguing with the built-in HAL9000



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